Do You Know What it's Like to Die Alive
by Halawen
Summary: After months of separation Owen and Clare are finally reunited, he thought she went to Africa and is horrified to learn the truth. A/U Clowen 2 or 3 shot with Cladam friendhip. Trigger warnings please see A/Ns.
1. Need You Much More than Ever

**Legal: I own nothing but the idea.**

**WARNING! WARNING! THIS FIC CONTAINS TRIGGER WARNINGS!**

**Stuff to know before you read:**

***Clare's family was never religious and she never worse an abstinence ring.**

***Clare's parents divorced and her dad moved to Arizona.**

***Jake and Glen never moved to Toronto, Helen never married Glen or even dated him.**

***Helen works as a nurse at a hospital.**

***The whole thing with Vince and Anson never happened so Drianca never broke up, Drew was never beat up and Adam never got shot.**

***Owen and Anya never dated or anything else.**

***Owen's family is wealthy, like they are in I Was at this Party if you've read that, if not like the Hollingsworth family in the show.**

**Ch. 1 Need You Much More than Ever**

**(CLARE)**

"AAAGGHHHHH!" I scream out as my body is wracked by pain, it shoots from my abdomen through my entire body. It's the worst pain I've ever felt, I can feel the spasms in my stomach and I scream again. I've been feeling this terrible pain for the last fourteen hours. I take a deep breath and fall against the bed, the chains on my neck and wrists rattling as I sink into the mattress.

"Push Clare one more push," the doctor says to me and I hate how very calm he is. I hate him with all of my soul; I hate him with such a burning passion I wish I could burn my hate into him so that he dies.

"No I don't want to," I cry shaking my head. I don't want to be pregnant anymore but I don't want to push again either.

"Push Clare you're almost done, one more deep breath and a push and you're done," Mom coaches me and I cry harder, shaking my head.

"No, no you'll take my baby if it's over you'll take my baby," I wail.

"If she won't push can you pull the thing out?" Mom asks the doctor.

He doesn't even reply but I suddenly feel his fingers in me and then a tug and I scream out in agonizing pain. I feel empty suddenly and weak, so weak it's as if I'm feeling the life drain out of me. And then I hear it, the tiny cry of my child, their first life breath! I force my eyes to open and try to see my baby but the doctor and my mom are blocking my view.

"Clare's bleeding I need to sew her up take the baby and clean her in the washroom?" The doctor asks.

"No my baby I want to see my baby," I request weakly reaching out my arms the chains clatter and stop me from moving very far. My mother turns to look at me but she doesn't respond simply covers my child and leaves the room. "No my baby, please," I beg looking at the doctor but the room starts to go blurry, I'm weak and losing blood, "please wh…"

That's all I can get out as I lose consciousness, the last thing I hear before the blackness is my baby's cry.

I wake up to the smell of Christmas ham and sweet potatoes, it should be a happy smell, today being Christmas should be a day of joy and celebration. All I feel is heartbreak and such a searing pain in my soul that I almost wish for deaths sweet embrace. My child was taken from me, stolen by my very own mother and sold on the black market to a wealthy couple.

It all started with my parent's divorce, Dad moved to Arizona with his girlfriend and I get a birthday card with some cash but that's all I ever hear from my father anymore. After the divorce Mom went on a few dates but never more than one or two with the same guy. She started to become depressed and I tried to help but she pushed me away, and soon she began to take things out on me. She never got physical but she became mentally and emotionally abusive I just didn't see it at the time.

After all this and my breakup with Eli I started dating Owen. I was avoiding Eli over March break and ran into Owen at The Dot, or rather he saw me sitting sad and alone, came over and cheered me up. We hung out for all of March break became friends and he asked me out on DeGrassi movie night. Eli did his best to break us up but it didn't work and Owen and I stayed strong. For his birthday and our two month anniversary I gave Owen my virginity, we used protection but it didn't work or it broke. We made love a few more times before he left to spend the summer in Europe with his family. Adam and his family went to Boston to see his grandparents that same week; Alli was at science camp and Jenna in Tennessee with her brother. I thought my summer would be lonely and boring, now I wish that's all it had been.

I found out I was pregnant in late June after I didn't get my period, I was sure I couldn't be pregnant because we'd used protection. Still I went and bought a home pregnancy test and it was positive. I remember staring at the pink plus sign and my heart stopping, I wanted to call Owen and tell him but he was in Austria and his cell wasn't working. He called from a satellite phone once and we'd been in touch by e-mail otherwise. After I got over the shock I went to my laptop to write him an e-mail but I didn't. I decided I needed a second opinion and went to the clinic down the street to get a blood test. That came out positive too and I went home in shock, I spent the drive just terrified of being a teen mom and worried about what I was going to do and how Owen would react. Turns out the only thing I should have really been worried about was my mother.

When I got home Mom was there, sitting at the table and gripping the pregnancy test. I'd been in such shock when I first found out that I had just left the test on my washroom counter. She yelled at me, told me I had thrown my life away and some other stuff, we argued for a few minutes and then she struck me! For the last 31 weeks my life has been hell, I was kept as a prisoner and my mother was keeping me prisoner to sell my baby and profit. In the last 31 weeks the hate I've had for my mother and the doctor has grown to a black pit in my heart.

"Christmas dinner Clare, you should eat you lost quite a lot of blood and you've been asleep for the last nine hours. Sit up and eat," Mom says and to an outside ear she might sound caring but she just sounds cold to me.

"Mom how could you it was your grandchild," I spit at her. I want to throw the food in her face, to refuse to eat and scream at her to get out of my room. I'm too weak to scream and I'm hungry, also I need my strength if I have any hope of getting out of here.

We moved in July, as soon as my mom had the first payment, from whoever she sold the baby to, she bought us a new home in Woodbridge and thereby moving us 30 minutes away from Riverdale, from Owen, Adam and the rest of my friends. She must have told them something because by the start of school no one was looking for me, as far as I know anyway. I know she broke me up with Owen because she told me herself and was rather proud of the e-mail she'd written him from my account.

I have to get out of here and I need the strength to get away, I need to get back to Riverdale, to Owen and Adam. I need to tell Owen we have a child and I need to find our baby, if it's the last thing I ever do I will see my child and hold my baby.

"Clare no more talk of the child, it's over now and we're going to have a better life. We're set now just put the baby out of your mind. Come you need to eat, you'll have to recover in bed for a few of weeks, you had quite some extensive tearing and lost quite a lot of blood. You are lucky I was able to get blood and plasma for you," Mom says nodding to the IV in my arm.

I take my plate and start to eat, "Can you unchain me now?"

"In time Clare, eat up I have to go in for a shift tonight, I'll be back at six," Mom tells me and walks out of my room.

I itch at the chain around my neck and continue eating, I'm spending Christmas dinner chained to my bed and my baby, born on Christmas Day, is out there somewhere.

"I'll find you, I'll get out of here and I'll find you I promise," I declare aloud to my son or daughter. It's my Christmas wish and New Year's resolution all in one and I will see it to fruition.

**(OWEN)**

I pull into the school parking lot on this chilly Thursday morning and see Dallas and Luke, waving to them as I pull into a spot. Tris gets out of the car as soon as I'm parked and heads into school while I walk over to Dallas and Luke leaning on the side of school and watching the girls.

"Hey you ready for our first game tomorrow night?" Dallas asks.

"Yeah but I doubt I'll get to play," I shake my head.

"That's okay Milligan you get to keep the bench warm for us," Baker teases.

Back in October Simpson and Coach Armstrong told me we were getting a junior pro hockey league and advised me to tryout. There were six rounds of tryouts but I made the team, it was a great accolade and I was the only one in all of Toronto to make it but I was second string. Our captain was from Guelph and we had two other guys from Canada but everyone else was from all over the world, we even had twins from Sweden. We started practicing right after Christmas, in the last two weeks we'd had two hour practices every day to prepare for our first game tomorrow.

I had a nice Christmas with my family but I admit I'd thought a lot about Clare. Despite her scathing and brutal Dear John letter, or rather e-mail, I got as a breakup I still thought about Clare and I still loved her. When I first found out I made the Ice Hounds she was the first one I wanted to share the news with but I couldn't and as far as I knew she didn't want to see me or hear from me. For the last two weeks I've been too busy with parties, first New Year's Eve and then a party for the Ice Hounds at the Torres house on our first day back from break. Plus two or three hour practices each day and we'd been back at school for four days on top of practices and now our first game is tomorrow. I haven't thought about Clare since Christmas and therefore hadn't been heartbroken since Christmas.

"Dude shut up," I say to Baker as I shove him.

"Don't sweat it Milligan you'll get some ice time, I'll make sure of it. You're a good player you just need to get stronger in a couple of areas," Dallas tells me.

"Yeah I know speed a…"

"Owen," calls a familiar voice and I think I'm hearing things. Her voice is weak, strained and tense but it was Clare's voice I'm sure of it. I turn my head looking across the parking lot and there she is standing next to my car.

"Fuck is that…" Dallas starts.

"Clare," I exhale her name slowly almost afraid to say it like she might vanish.

Dallas is probably the only other one on the team that knows who Clare is, she hasn't been at school all year because she had gone to Africa to be with her sister, or so I thought. Dallas knows about her because he's billeted at the Torres house and Adam has pictures of Clare, Adam is also the only one that never stopped looking, Adam never believed that Clare went to Africa to be with her sister he was sure something was going on. I start to walk across to her and then I stop, her brutal breakup with me seems fresh and I freeze in my tracks, my shock at seeing her turns to anger as the bell rings.

"What are you doing here? You broke up with me, you left and said you hated me," I remind her and lace my tone with venom meaning to hurt her. I turn to walk into school, I see Luke already at the steps but Dallas has stopped and looks back at me.

"Owen please," Clare begs and I can hear her tears long before I look at her.

She grabs my arm and I stop, even after all this time, even after how much her breakup hurt and how many nights I spent awake and tortured by the hate I had for how she left me and how I loved her still, even after all that the lightest touch of her fingers, even through my thick jacket makes me stop. I'm fighting the urge to embrace her, I still love her, I've never loved anyone as much or in the same way that I loved her. Since she left me I haven't been on a date, I barely flirt with the puck bunnies because as badly as she hurt me all I wanted was Clare.

"It wasn't me," she beseeches and I nod to Dallas so he goes into class and isn't late. "My mom wrote the e-mail, she wanted you to think I was gone so you wouldn't come looking for me. She was holding me captive, I've been chained to my bed for over seven months," Clare says and now I look at her, she's pulled down her turtleneck and I see a red ring around her neck! She moves up her sleeves and I see cuts and bruises around her wrists from handcuffs!

My chest tightens, all the air in my body has left it, my heart sinks and my stomach has tied in knots. I look at her wrist and my eyes fill with tears as a sea of guilt washes over me. She was being held captive and I did nothing.

"Fuck," I exhale releasing a breath after a moment, "but why?"

"We have a child," Clare enlightens me and I stop breathing again.

"We…" I start but Clare is tearing up even more, she covers her wrist again and starts to shake.

"Owen please I can't be here she'll come looking for me, she'll find me and take me back, she'll keep me chained for the rest of my life. We have to go somewhere she can't find me, she'll…sh…" Clare stops, choking on her words as her sobbing becomes so aggressive she can longer speak.

"We'll go to my house," I tell her unlocking my car and putting my hand at her back so she'll walk but she doesn't budge.

"No she'll come looking for me there, if she finds me she'll take me back and make sure I can never get away again," Clare says somewhat hysterically shaking her head and trying to run but I hold her firm.

"Clare I will never let you mother near you again, we'll go to my house and tell my mom, she won't let your mom on the property. Your mom will never touch you again I swear to you I will protect you, come on," I urge her getting her to my car.

I get her in and drive home as fast as I can; I have so many questions I want to ask her but Clare sobs the entire way. She's in no condition to talk and I can't do much to comfort her while driving other than assure her that she's okay and rub her back with one hand. We get to my house and I take her in through the garage, I'm sure Mom is home because she said she didn't have anything until a luncheon today.

"MOM," I holler into my house, my bellowing makes Clare jump and echoes in the large great room with vaulted ceilings.

"Owen what is it?" Mom asks in a panicked voice as she comes running down the stairs. I'm sure she thinks something happened to me or Tris and that's why I'm home but when she sees Clare Mom goes frozen just like I did. "Clare Sweetheart I thought you were in Africa," Mom comments walking slowly down the stairs and over to us while Clare shakes her head in response.

"Her mom's been holding her captive," I inform my mom.

"What?!" Mom exclaims not that I can blame her; the news is shocking and almost unbelievable. I reach out to pull Clare's turtle neck down so that I can show my mom but Clare flinches at my touch.

"It's just me, I'm just showing her," I say in a soothing voice to Clare as I pull the neck of her turtleneck down to show Mom the red mark and bruising.

"Oh my," Mom gasps at the sight. Clare pulls her sleeve up a little to show the one on her wrist. "We need to get her to the hospital," Mom says firmly.

"No if my mom finds me…" Clare starts but I put my arm around her.

"She won't get near you Clare," I assure her.

"Don't you worry honey your mom won't get away with this, come we'll take my car," Mom asserts and I turn Clare around to go outside again. "Clare why on earth would your mom keep you captive and why did you tell Owen you were in Africa?" Mom asks when we're in her car on our way to the hospital.

"I didn't my mom did," Clare says taking my hand; we're both sitting in the backseat so I can hold her. I squeeze her hand and kiss the top of her head. "She didn't want anyone to look for me; she wanted everyone to think I was gone. She found out I was pregnant and she was furious but then she found out she could sell the baby," Clare says tearing up a little and I explode.

"Your mom sold our baby!" I growl clenching my fist so hard my nails dig into my skin.

"She just wanted the money, she didn't care…she…" Clare starts bawling again curling into me and I force myself to relax enough that I can hold her but I'm beyond angry, I hate Clare's Mom and if I ever see her again I'll tear her head off.

I'm filled with anger and hate toward Clare's mom but I'm also filled with overwhelming guilt. I spent eight months thinking she just left me and ran away without even a thought to me and all that time Clare was being tortured as a prisoner in her own home. She was pregnant with our child and held captive by her mom who sold our baby. I should have done something, I should have protected her, I should have looked for her.

Mom parks at the hospital and we go in, thankfully the emergency room isn't very busy at this hour. Clare doesn't look very hurt but she's covered by clothes, she is however shaking and sobbing hysterically so the nurse takes us back to a room. When the nurse tries to take her vitals Clare shrinks away, I sit next to her with my arm around her and Clare calms a little. When we have to take her jacket off, so the nurse can take her blood pressure, Clare hisses a lot and I can see how stiff she is when she moves.

"You'll have to fill out these and get her into this gown so the doctor can examine her," the nurse tells me.

The nurse leaves the room and mom picks up the clipboard, I take the gown and look at Clare.

"I'll help you get the gown on," I tell her.

"I don't think…I've been chained and…You don't," Clare stumbles over hear words looking away from me.

"She's worried about you seeing her body," Mom says in this heart broken tone and Clare nods.

"Then I won't look," I tell Clare kneeling down to take off her shoes.

I do my best not to look but I do, Clare's skin used to be so milky white but now it's ashen. Her ribs are showing and I can see that she was pregnant, there's more fat around her stomach with stretch marks, yet her ribs are showing. She's bruised in places other than her wrists and neck and she looks so frail and sickly in a way.

Mom asks a few questions while filling out the forms and then takes it out to the nurse. Mom returns several minutes later with a female doctor, one that gives Clare a soft smile and she calms ever so slightly. The doctor talks in a calm voice starting with an external exam, she looks at every bruise and mark on Clare's body but doesn't ask how they happened; I'm guessing Mom said something to her. The doctor does however get a lot of pictures of all Clare's injuries. When the doctor tell Clare she's going to do a vaginal exam Clare starts to cry and grips my hand tighter than she has been. Clare lies down and the doctor raises the table, it takes some urging but Clare finally spreads her legs. Clare's very uncomfortable, she's breathing hard and I'm trying to calm her. Mom goes to Clare's other side gently stroking her hair and begins speaking in a soothing voice.

"Clare sweetie it's okay we're right here and we're not leaving you," Mom assures her and Clare looks at my mom. "Talk to me, tell me what your favorite thing about Owen is," Mom encourages and Clare lets out a breath.

I chance a look at the doctor and she looks green, her expression slightly horrified, not a look you want to see on a doctor's face.

"I love that he's caring and knows how to cheer me up, and that he's strong but sensitive," Clare says and I smile at her looking away from the doctor again.

"Okay Clare I'm going to take you to imaging so we can get a CT," the doctor speaks and Clare grips my hand tightly again. "Owen can come with you don't worry, I'm just going to go grab an orderly and a wheelchair. Mrs. Milligan can I see you outside," the doctor requests and my mom leaves the room with her. This can't be good.

"I don't know what we had," Clare says and her voice cracks.

"What do you mean?" I query looking at her eyes again.

"Our baby I don't know if it was a boy or a girl. They never talked about a sex around me, they never let me see the sonograms and they took the baby as soon as…I never got to see Owen, I don't even know what we had," Clare says with tears pouring down her face.

I wipe them away and brush my fingers over the saltwater tracks on her cheeks. "Well I didn't even know we were going to have a baby so you're still a step ahead of me," I comment and she smiles with a silent laugh just as the door opens again.

"You always know how to make me smile," she whispers as she sits up to get in the wheelchair that the orderly brought in.

I walk with Clare, holding her hand as she's wheeled to imaging, I can't go in with her but I can watch her. I'm in a room with a tech, my mom and the doctor, the CT starts up and I watch Clare, from the corner of my eye I see an image come on screen but I don't look at it.

"Holy crap," the tech suddenly exclaims and now I look over.

"What? What is it? Is she going to be okay?" I question rapidly looking at the screen and the doctor, I know my eyes are filled with fear and my mom puts a hand on my shoulder.

"She'll live but we need to admit her and get her into surgery. She can be released tonight but she has massive tearing, some of it was stitched up but it's an amateur job. She has tearing inside that was never stitched up and frankly I'm surprised she didn't bleed to death or go septic. Whoever did it had to have at least a basic medical knowledge but it looks as if the baby was ripped from the birth canal, ripped by force. We can sew up the tears and keep her alive but Clare will never be able to have kids again the damage to her cervix and uterus is extensive. I'll have to see how soon we can get her into surgery and we need to call the cops, you say her mom did this?" The doctor questions in a voice somewhere between utter disbelief, outrage and anguished heartache.

"Yeah and her mom's a nurse at North York General Hospital," I inform the doctor, "but there was someone else too. Clare kept saying they, they wouldn't let her see the baby, they wouldn't tell her what we had."

"You can take Clare back to her room, I'll get her into surgery as soon as I can and hopefully we can release her by tonight. I'll have them notify the police as well," the doctor says.

I go into the CT room and help Clare back into her wheelchair taking her back to the room.

"What did the doctor say? Why are you wearing that face?" Clare asks me when we get back to her room.

"You have a lot of tearing, they have to admit you for surgery," I reply.

"He sewed me up but…" Clare pauses biting her lip with a trembling breath.

"But what Clare? Who's he?" I ask her.

"The doctor, the one my mom found to sell the baby, he and my mom are the only people I've seen in 33 weeks. He helped her, he delivered the baby but he was never gentle, not when he examined me and not when I gave birth. I didn't want to push, I didn't want to because I knew they'd take the baby so he just reached in and pulled it out," Clare tells me and starts to cry again.

I feel nauseas just hearing it, and full of rage, I want to kill them I want them to feel every ounce of pain Clare went through. I want them to feel all the pain I feel just hearing it, I want to kill them and torture them and make them pay with blood. They stole the girl I love and kept her caged for over seven months and then they stole our child! I hold Clare wishing I could take the hurt and the sorrow, and that I could make up for the seven months she was alone and scared.

"Okay Clare we're going to admit you and you have surgery in an hour, if all goes well you'll be done with surgery and out of here in four hours. We're going to use a local anesthetic and treat it as an outpatient surgery. We informed the police and told them she has to go into surgery, they'll want to speak to the two of you while she's in surgery," the doctor tells us.

"You'll stay right? Be here when I get out?" Clare asks in a pleading tone.

"I'm not going anywhere I'll be waiting for you right here when they wheel you back, I'd go in the room with you if I could," I assure her. An orderly comes in to get Clare in her wheelchair again and take her to surgery she starts to get wheeled out and I run over. "Wait, there's one thing I have yet to do," I tell her cupping her chin and taking her lips for a gentle kiss. "I love you and I'll be waiting for you when you're out," I tell her and she smiles.

"I love you too," she says and for the first time since I saw her in the parking lot at school she has a glimmer of hope and happiness in her eyes.

I kiss her cheek quickly and she gets wheeled away, I sink down on the exam table releasing a deep breath I think I've been holding since she first touched my arm at school this morning. Mom walks over and hugs me tightly, I put my head on her arm and just breathe, it's all so much process I don't think I've even begun.

"She's safe now Owen, we'll keep her safe and we'll do whatever it takes to find your child," Mom promises.

"I'm a dad," I say the word for the first time as it just hits me and sinks in. "I'm a dad, I didn't even know she was pregnant and I've got a baby out there somewhere."

Mom opens her mouth but my phone rings, the caller ID says it's Drew but I'm sure it's actually Adam calling from Drew's phone because Adam's never had a need for my number.

"Is it true?" Adam asks as soon as I've hit accept to answer.

"Yeah she's back, she was never in Africa and whatever you're imagining it's worse, so much worse," I tell him.

"Where are you? I want to see her," he says.

"She's in surgery, it's a long story that I haven't even heard yet but it should be an outpatient surgery and she'll be out this evening. If she's up for it I'll bring her to your place," I offer.

"Good I have to see her, I thought Dallas was joking. I knew she didn't just run off to Africa, I knew it. Tell her I want to see her, if she doesn't want to come here I'll meet her anywhere," Adam implores.

"I'll tell her, I'll call you when she's out," I tell him. He says thanks and then there's a knock on the door and the doctor comes back in.

"Clare's in surgery, it will take about three hours and there's some detectives here to speak with you. I put them in a private waiting room I'll show you where it is," the doctor says.

We follow her to the waiting room; it's small with a little sofa and two small tables as well as two armchairs.

"I'm Detective Constable Anderson and this is Detective Constable Dixon we're from the crimes against children division and we're investigating Clare's case. We know she's in surgery and we can speak with her tomorrow but we need some details from you."

"I DON'T HAVE ANY DETAILS," I scream at them and upend one of the tables as all the anger that's been building inside me explodes! "I didn't know anything, I went to Europe with my family and I come back and she's gone! I didn't even want to go, I wanted to stay and be with Clare but she told me to go, she said I needed to have the time with family and enjoy it. She told me go and we kept in touch as much as we could. She never told me she was pregnant, she just sends me a terrible break up e-mail! I never even tried to look for her when I got home and when I found out her mom had moved I didn't even think it was suspicious. I should have listened to Adam, I should have helped him look for her, I should have done something, anything. I didn't even try I just gave up and she was being held prisoner and chained to her bed, our baby stolen from her, literally ripped out of her and I didn't try and do anything," I lament as I sink down on the sofa. My elbows resting on my legs and my head falls into my hands as tears spill from my eyes, "I failed her."

**Don't worry I'm not that mean, okay I am mean enough to end this chapter here but not the whole story. Chapter two will be out Friday October 3****rd**** picking up from around here and including Clare and Adam's reunion as well as Clare telling them everything she went through and how she escaped. Also Owen and Clare being the search for their baby and this story may end up being 3 chapters.**


	2. My Heart Twists with Guilt

**Visit the DeGrassi Saviors website and tomfeltonlover1991's page to vote in her poll and break the tie.**

**So if you saw my picture and clue on the site you know this chapter is pretty short. It also has Clare talking about what she went through so it may be hard for some people to read. And the whole thing is in Owen pov.**

**Ch. 2 My Heart Twists with Guilt**

**(OWEN)**

Everyone's silent for several minutes, Mom holds me and all I want is to be with Clare, to hold her and never let her go again. Mom is telling me it's okay and Clare's safe now, that it's not my fault but I still feel like I should have done something, tried harder, gone looking for her. I don't care what Mom says I failed Clare and our child but I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her and our baby.

"Just tell us what you know; you were in Europe so you didn't know Clare was pregnant?" Detective Dixon asks.

"No I already told you I had no idea, if she had told me she was pregnant I never would have left or I would have come home right away," I respond getting a little angry because I'm pretty sure I just told them all this.

"You said something about a break up e-mail?" Dr. Anderson questions.

"Yeah a scathing one, it was from Clare's account but she said her mom sent it. It was scathing and I'm pretty sure I still have it," I reply clenching my fists just thinking about the e-mail but I know it wasn't from Clare. "When I came home Clare had moved, someone else was living in her house. I heard through the grapevine that she'd gone to Africa to be with her sister. I didn't even try to look I thought she hated me and she'd gone to Africa to get away from me. I moved on, I tried to anyway, I told myself I had and that I needed to but I kept thinking about her and I never stopped loving her. Everyone thought she'd gone to Africa; the only person that didn't believe and kept looking was Adam. He tried to tell me that she wouldn't go to Africa, he tried to get me to look but I wouldn't listen, I should have listened, why didn't I listen?"

"It's not your fault Owen and Clare is safe now and we'll make sure that she stays safe," Mom assures me.

"Who is Adam?" Detective Dixon queries.

"Clare's best friend, Adam Torres," I tell them and Detective Anderson's phone rings. He walks out of the room to answer it while I put my head in my hands worried about Clare, guilty over what she went through and that I just gave up. Worried about our baby and hoping that we can find our child.

"We found more than sufficient evidence at their residence to arrest Clare's mom. Uniformed officers are going to her place of work to make the arrest," Detective Anderson tells me when he sits down again.

"What kind of evidence?" I inquire.

"I really don't think you sh…"

"No I have to know," I snap without meaning to cutting him off, "Clare was out there for seven months and I need to know what happened."

"A lot of cash, medical equipment, prenatal vitamins, bottles of ketamine, chains on the wall and bolted to the bed in Clare's room. Officers are still combing the house," Detective Anderson informs me.

"Isn't ketamine a date rape drug?" I question.

"It can be used as one; it's used before surgery as an anesthetic and as a horse tranquilizer. They found several bottles but we don't know what they were used for yet. I think we have enough, we'll need a statement from Clare when she's up for it, just call us and we'll want to talk with Adam as well," Detective Dixon tells me handing me his card.

"Adam's dad is a lawyer you'll probably have to go through him, better his dad than his mom," I comment pocketing the detective's card. "Wait Clare said there was a doctor, a male one that helped her mom," I tell them remembering this detail.

The detectives nod and leave, when they're gone I pick up the table, that I up ended in my fit of anger, to put it back when the door opens. I expect it to be a nurse or the doctor but it's Dad!

"I spoke to Principal Simpson and he'll get Clare registered back at school. I also spoke with Andy Callaghan," Dad tells us. Andy is our family lawyer, normally he just does simple things like my parents wills and the trusts for me and Tris but we always go to him when we have any legal matter, if Andy can't do it someone in his firm can. "He's drawing up papers to give us emergency custody of Clare, he'll take them to a judge and we should have them at our house ready to sign by this evening. She can legally move out and move in with us but her mom would still maintain parental rights. Tris will sleep at Maya's house tonight, I spoke with Maya's mom, I thought it might be easier for Clare on her first night back."

"Thanks Dad," I say with as much of a smile as I can muster right now. I already put the table back and I'm sitting down again.

"I also hired a private investigator to start looking for your baby; she's the best in all of Toronto. She'll be coming to the house tomorrow night to speak with you both but she's starting the search right away," Dad informs me.

"Thanks Dad Clare will be relieved to hear that. I can't believe I'm a dad, I don't know if I have a son or daughter, what they look like or anything. I hate Clare's mom, I hate her for stealing Clare from me, for stealing our baby from me. She didn't even give us a chance. I would have come home, Clare could've moved in with us but Helen just took everything from me!" I growl going tense and getting angry again as my fists clench, mom puts her hand on my fist.

"At least we got Clare back and we'll get your baby back too," Mom assuages in a calming voice and I release a breath but don't really calm down.

Mom and Dad start talking about what we need to do to move Clare in and soon a baby. Clare and I can move to the master suite downstairs right behind the kitchen, the washroom connects to a smaller room and that can be the baby's room. My parents have the master suite on the second floor. Right now the one downstairs is used as a guest room but we got lots of those, our house has six rooms. We also need clothes for Clare and toiletries, everything she'll need day to day and school supplies. Mom and Dad are still talking when a doctor comes in.

"Clare's out of surgery and in recovery, it went well but we're putting her on antibiotics. She can have no sexual activity for at least 8 weeks, probably more like 10. She'll need a follow up in two weeks and keep an eye on her. No strenuous activity for a few weeks, make sure she'd getting lots of water and fluids, if she has a fever, abnormal bleeding or spotting or abdominal pain she should come back in. You can go see her if you'd like," the doctor says and I run out of the room to be with Clare.

There's a nurse putting on an IV bag when I run in, she looks at me but only smiles. Clare is still unconscious but I don't care, I sit on the bed and take her hand, brushing one of Clare's curls from her face.

"She'll wake up soon but she'll be pretty groggy for a while," the nurse tells me.

"I don't care I'm just happy to be with her again," I reply and the nurse smiles again. She leaves the room just as Mom and Dad come in.

"Dad and I are going to pick some stuff up for Clare, you can take my car we'll see you at home," Mom says kissing my head and then Clare's.

My parents leave and I sit there waiting for Clare to awaken, after a few minutes her eyes begin to flutter and then open. Her eyes lock onto mine, I smile at her, she smiles back but also starts tearing up.

"I was worried it was all a dream and I was still chained in that room," she tells me while squeezing my hand as tears fall down her face.

"No your nightmare is over, I have you now, you're safe with me and your mom has been arrested. My parents are getting emergency custody of you and you're moving in tonight. Dad even hired a private investigator to find our baby," I tell her and she starts crying harder. "Clare why are you crying?" I question wiping her tears away.

"They're…happy…tears…" she tells me between heaving breaths as she sobs.

I move up a little and put my arms around her, holding her tight. Her head rests on my chest and she grips tightly to my t-shirt.

"I'm never letting you go ever again, you are safe and I will never let your mom hurt you or get near you again," I assert.

She still cries for a few minutes and I just hold her and tell her I love her. When she finally does stop and looks up at me, she wipes her tears from her face and gives me a soft kiss.

"I love you too, you were all I thought about for 33 weeks," she tells me and I smile but I feel even guiltier. While she was thinking about me I was doing everything I could not to think of her. "Well you and our baby, and Adam, I thought a lot about Adam," she admits and I laugh a little.

"I can't really be jealous that you thought of Adam, I know he thought about you," I tell her as the door opens and the doctor comes in.

The doctor tells her everything she told me, gives her all the same instructions and gives me a bag with some prescriptions. After the doctor leaves a nurse comes in to check Clare's vitals, Mom already signed the discharge papers so once Clare's IV is done she can go.

"Adam called while you were in surgery, he wants to see you. I told him if you were up for it I'd bring you over after the surgery," I inform Clare while she's dressing again.

"Yes I want to see Adam," she nods. I help her finish dressing and we go out to my mom's car. I drive her to Adam's house and she hesitates getting out of the car so I go around and open her door. "I'll be with you the whole time," I assure her.

"It isn't that I just can't believe I'm here. I had nothing but my memories, hopes and dreams for seven months. I pictured this house and yours so clearly in my mind, I could walk every inch of them and sometimes it felt like I was really there. Then I'd open my eyes only to find it was an illusion," she says her voice starts out bright and happy but by the end had dropped into sorrow and misery. It's heart breaking and I wish desperately that I had a way to take back the last seven months and do them again, that I could somehow keep her from ever going through all that she did, all of which I haven't even heard yet.

I give her a gentle kiss, she takes my hand interlacing our fingers and we walk to the basement door. As soon as we appear at the glass Adam leaps up and runs over before I even have the door open. I let go of Clare so that she and Adam can embrace. Drew and Bianca are also in the basement, sitting on the sofa but Dallas is at practice.

"I knew it; I knew you wouldn't go to Africa. No one believed me, no one listened but I knew it," Adam tells her pulling away to look her over and then hugging her again.

"Welcome back Clare," Bianca says smiling at her when Adam lets Clare go and we all sit on the sofa.

"Yeah welcome back, so if you weren't in Africa who e-mailed Adam from your account every couple of months and where have you been?" Drew asks bluntly but it is what we're all wondering.

Clare bites her lip and takes my hand, I interlace our fingers kissing the back of her hand. She hasn't talked yet, her head is down but I can still see tears in her eyes. Adam puts his arm around her and she takes a deep breath before speaking.

"Woodbridge, I've been in Woodbridge," Clare replies. I swallow hard, she was thirty minutes away, I didn't save her and she was only thirty minutes away.

"After you moved I searched for a new residence nothing came up," Adam tells her.

"Mom moved us fast, she bought the house under her maiden name," Clare replies.

"But why'd you move and if you were that close why didn't you just come back?" Adam asks her and his tone is full of hurt.

"I couldn't. Shortly after Owen left for Europe and you guys went to Boston I found out I was pregnant," she informs them.

"So your mom found out and sent you to a convent or something?" Bianca postulates and Clare shakes her head.

"I took a home pregnancy test and it was positive, we always used protection so I was shocked and I almost wrote you and e-mail telling you. I wanted to be sure though and pregnancy tests can give you a false positive so I went to the clinic to get a blood test and be sure before I told you. The blood test came back positive too and I was going to e-mail you when I got home only Mom was waiting for me. I was in such shock over the pregnancy test that I left it on the counter and Mom found it. She was furious, she started yelling, telling me that you were no good and I'd thrown my life away. We argued and then she hit me, she slapped me so hard that I was knocked back, I hit my head and blacked out. When I woke up I was locked in the closet and mom was gone, I'm not entirely sure how long I was in the closet. I didn't feel well from hitting my head, I was dizzy and had trouble staying awake. When she finally did let me out of the closet I was weak and all I wanted to do was sleep. She told me to go to bed and we'd talk about it in the morning, I thought…" Clare's voice cracks with pain and regret, she swallows, takes a breath and begins again, "I thought she'd come to her senses and let off some steam and we'd just go back to arguing."

Clare stops again barely able to speak; she bites her trembling lip and takes a few deep breaths. We all just watch her, Adam and I holding her and she clinging to us.

"Drew can you get her some water?" I request after a couple of minutes. Drew nods and goes to the fridge; he gets out a water bottle and hands it to me. I open it and give it to her; she takes a few sips and starts again.

"I woke up when I felt something on my wrist; my mom was handcuffing me to the bed. I struggled against them and asked her what the hell she was doing. She told me I couldn't be a teen mom and she wouldn't live with that shame but I was lucky because she found a solution. She said it would be great for us and give us a better life, she told me that there are a lot of couples who can't have children and for one reason or another are eliminated from adoption and foster programs. She informed me that she'd found one such couple who desperately wanted children and didn't care if it was a boy or girl as long as it was healthy. Apparently the couple is quite wealthy and they'd offered Mom a lot of money. I begged her to let me go, to let me keep my baby. I told her you and I would raise it together," Clare tells me looking in my eyes and my heart breaks.

Picturing Clare handcuffed to a bed and begging her own mother for her freedom and the right to raise our child is heart wrenching. I'm also outraged! I knew Clare's mom could be a bitch sometimes but how could any mother do that to her teenage daughter. My anger boils inside and I tense up, Clare squeezes my hand and I let out a breath but relax only slightly.

"Mom told me that I would never see you again, she was going to make sure of it. She left my room and I tried everything to get out of my handcuffs. I tried everything to get out of the handcuffs, I struggled so hard I twisted my wrist and passed out from the pain. When I woke up Mom was in my room, she showed me the e-mail she sent you, she was rather proud of it. I didn't write it Owen, it was all her words I never sa…" Clare is blubbering and becoming slightly hysterical so I silence her with a kiss.

"I know, I should have known all along but I know now," I remind Clare and she nods taking a deep breath before continuing.

"She kept me handcuffed, feeding me with protein shakes. She kept giving me shots, some didn't seem to do anything but one made me sleepy, I found out it was ketamine," Clare tells us and I growl while Adam and Bianca gasp. Drew growls too after Bianca tells him what ketamine is. After a minute Clare continues, "I was kept mostly sedated for almost two weeks and it was in that time that the doctor came. I don't know who he is or how Mom found him but he was the only other person I saw. He examined me and he wasn't gentle at all, not that Mom ever cared. Mom had been packing that whole time and one day she told me we were moving. The doctor even helped us, they moved most of our stuff during the day in a truck, Mom sedated me and handcuffed me in the washroom so they could move out my room. When they came back it was night, Mom gagged me and had the handcuffs behind my back, she took me out to the car and put me in the trunk. Our new house was bigger and Mom told me she bought it with the first payment from the people that were going to buy my baby. I was taken to my room, it was a bed and a bunch of medical equipment I have no idea how they got. There was a chain attached to the wall with a metal collar and Mom put it around my neck. The whole time Mom was telling me how this was the best thing and we would have a better life after this but all I wanted was to get away and be with you."

She's not looking at me this time, she's looking at my hand holding hers and she's sobbing. I am drowning in guilt; my heart is twisted with it. I search for something to say but nothing I could ever say would take away her hurt.

"I am so sorry I wasn't there, I love you, I never stopped loving you," I tell her. She nods a little but doesn't look up.

"So your mom e-mailed me too?" Adam asks cautiously after a few minutes of silence, other than the sounds of Clare's sobbing.

"Yes, she knew when you came back you'd want to see me and she couldn't just send you a hurtful breakup e-mail like she did with Owen. So she told you I went to Africa to be with Darcy, she posted it on my facerange and e-mailed Alli and anyone else that e-mailed back. She destroyed my phone so it couldn't be tracked, told Principal Simpson I'd gone to be with Darcy and basically erased me," Clare says.

Now I'm a mix of overwhelming guilt and tremendous outrage, I begin to picture her mother dying in a number of torturous ways.

"No she didn't Clare I never believed it and I never stopped looking," Adam asserts and Clare looks up to smile at him.

"Then you spent the last seven months chained to the wall?" Bianca questions and her voice cracks a little.

"Yes, at first the chain was long enough I could reach the washroom. Not that I needed it much, Mom mostly fed me by IV and protein shake. When I entered my third trimester they didn't want me to move much. I was given enough ketamine to knock me out, when I woke up the chain around my neck was much shorter and I had shackles on my wrists attached to the bed. Since I couldn't get up to go to the washroom anymore Mom put adult diapers on me," Clare confesses her cheeks going red with embarrassment and she looks down even more as she begins to cry a river of agonizing tears.

I hold her close, trying to be calm and loving for her but inside I'm a torrent of anger and guilt. I despise her mother and this doctor with every fiber of my being, I want to tear of the heads and mount them on spikes. It's too awful for me to even picture, thinking of Clare being chained and shackled to a bed, forces to wear diapers and treated worse than an animal makes me physically ill. I hold her a little tighter, reminding her that I love her and she's safe now. She drinks some more water and continues.

"I got very weak, not just from not moving much but mom barely fed me. She gave me nutrients through the IV, only enough to sustain the baby. She said the baby would take what it needed from me. I went into labor on Christmas Eve day; I was in labor for fourteen hours. They didn't give me anything and when I didn't want to push the doctor shoved his hand in and ripped the baby out. I didn't even get to see they just took it. I heard the cry, I heard but I didn't get to see," Clare tells us and now she's crying so hard she can't speak or talk. She puts head on my chest and just bawls.

I don't know which is stronger inside me right now, the immense outrage and deep hate I have for her mom and the doctor or the guilt. I also feel sick to my stomach, grateful to have Clare back and worried for our baby. And of course love for Clare.

Bianca looks sick and hops over the back of the sofa to run into the washroom and vomit. Drew looks green too but he doesn't vomit, he's got a blank and yet horrified expression on his face. I notice now that Adam is shaking slightly, a few tears running down his face.

We sit there, silent and sick over what we just heard, full of anger and outrage. When I can talk I tell them that her mom was arrested and we have a private investigator to find out baby. It seems like such small good news compared to what we just heard but it's something.

"How'd you get out?" Adam asks Clare when she's slowed her crying enough to talk.

"It took almost two weeks, for several days after I was still chained to the bed, on the longer chain again so I could use the washroom. Mom wasn't going to let me out; in her mind I has to stay chained until I saw things her way. So I pretended to, told her selling the baby was the right thing and we were better off. She was smart though for a couple of days she only let me out of my room when she was home and after giving me more ketamine. She installed an alarm system with cameras and wouldn't let me see the code, the house had no phone and she took her cell phone. I finally convinced her to let me off the chain while she went to work; she reminded me that she could watch the cameras. I spent all day in the house just walking and doing things and Mom finally trusted me. She didn't chain me that night but I couldn't run yet, she had the alarm set. When she left for work this morning I watched her from the top of the stairs as she put in the code. I couldn't see the numbers but I was able to figure it out from how her arm moved. I waited until she as in her car and driving off, then I put in the code and I ran. I hitched a ride and rand straight for DeGrassi," Clare says looking up at me again, "straight for you."

**Okay so obviously there's another chapter to this I just don't know where I'm going to fit it in. I'll try for the week of Thanksgiving but I can't promise that, it might have to wait a while sorry guys. The next chapter will be searching for the baby, Clare adjusting to life and Helen's trial.**


	3. Got through the Night, Took Back My Life

**I know you guys have been waiting a long time for this final chapter and her it is!**

**Ch. 3 ****Got through the Night, Took Back My Life**

**(CLARE)**

"You sure you want to come to the game, you've only been back a day and you've been through so much. I don't need to go, I'm second string they won't miss me," Owen says while I finish putting makeup on in the washroom mirror.

"No you should go I want to see you play and with all the makeup on I look halfway human," I respond turning to him and gripping his jacket.

"You look beautiful," Owen replies kissing my cheek, "and I don't think I'll get to play."

"Then I want to watch you smiling at me from the bench but I want to go. I spent thirty three weeks thinking about you and counting down the minutes until I could get back to your arms. I spent so long chained to a bed and I have to get back to my life of some semblance of it. Adam will be there with Drew and Bianca, besides if I stay here I'll drive myself crazy looking for our child and bothering the P.I. with questions," I tell him.

"I will spend all night smiling at you from the stands, I just can't believe I have you back," Owen says holding me close and kissing me passionately. "I have to go, the Torres brothers and B will come pick you up in ten minutes and I will smile the second I see you in the stands," Owen tells me when he pulls out of the kiss.

"Good luck I'll see you at the game," I smile.

Owen kisses me once more before leaving; it's the first time I've been out of his arms since the hospital. Owen didn't go to school today so he could stay with me and I spent the day in his arms. He tried to distract me; he came with me to the mall while his mom bought me new clothes, a whole new wardrobe in fact and everything else I need. Of course the very first thing we did is meet with the private investigator, I answered as many questions as I could but I didn't know very much.

"Clare Adam's here to take you to the game," Tris says and I realize I got lost in my thoughts without noticing how much time had passed.

"Thanks Tris," I smile grabbing my coat and purse.

"You look good Clare," Tris says when I stop to check my hair in the mirror at the entry.

"Thanks," I grin kissing his cheek.

"Ready for this? There will be a lot of people there, I think just as many people are coming to the game to see you as the game," Adam tells me we walk down to Drew's car.

"I need to get back to my life, anyway you'll be there and so will Owen," I reply as we get in the car.

"If you want to leave at any time you just tell us, Owen will understand if you're not there for the whole game," Drew tells me as we start driving.

"Thanks Drew," I smile.

"We heard your Mom got out on bail," Bianca comments.

"Yeah she made bail with the money she got selling my child; she is on house arrest until the trial. Has an ankle bracelet and everything so she can't come near me. She also named the doctor that helped her, I have to go in tomorrow to pick him out for a lineup," I inform them.

"Owen's going with you right?" Adam asks.

"Yeah he's coming, he insisted on it as soon as he heard," I nod.

They spend the rest of the drive telling me what's happened since I disappeared. Drew parks at the arena and we walk to the door together. Dallas got us all tickets so we're right behind the bench, we have to stand in line, I feel like everyone's watching me and I try to shrink behind Adam. An action that Adam notices, he puts an arm around me, Bianca looks over and also puts an arm around me, Drew already has an arm around her.

"CLARE!"

The screaming of my name makes me jump inadvertently grip Adam and Bianca.

"It's just Alli and the gang they're excited to see you," Adam tells me and I let out a breath releasing my tight grip on them.

"We're so happy to see you, we couldn't believe it when Adam told us that you were here and you'd been here the whole time," Jenna says as she and Alli run over followed by K.C. and Dave.

"I never should have believed that you went to Africa to see Darcy," Alli tells me as she and Jenna throw their arms around me.

"Ow!" I gasp as they tighten their hug.

"Guys back off she's been through a lot," Drew tells them.

"You can hug her later she's only been out for a day," Adam says.

"Sorry, we're just so glad you're back," Jenna apologizes.

"Yeah very glad, it's good to see you Clare," K.C. smiles.

"Did your mom really get arrested?" Dave questions.

"Yeah and I hope she rots in jail," I respond feeling tears at my eyes just thinking about it.

The line starts to move so Alli, Jenna, Dave and K.C. come in with us. They aren't sitting by us however and we part as soon as we're inside. I follow Drew and Bianca to our seats while Adam gets us some water, as soon as I sit down Owen looks over and blows me a kiss, I smile and blow a kiss back to him. Adam returns with water and food but I'm not very hungry. The game is exciting even though Owen doesn't get to play but he does smile at me the whole game. When it's over the Ice Hounds have won and people in the stands begin cheering.

"Owen will skip the celebration to take you home, we'll meet him out by the locker room," Drew says as we begin filing out of the arena.

"So any plans for the weekend?" Bianca asks when we're leaning on the wall next to the locker room.

"No just adjusting to life again, you know not chained to a bed and all," I reply and they all make faces. "Sorry I didn't mean to…"

"It's okay, those are good plans and I'm sure Owen will help you adjust. Are you still thinking about coming back to school on Monday?" Bianca asks.

"Yeah, I need to, I know things won't go back to normal the way they were but I need them to be as normal as they can. I need to get back to my life and sitting at Owen's wondering where our baby is and wallowing anger and hurt over what Mom put me through isn't going to do anyone any good," I tell them as the doors to the locker room open.

The opposing team comes out first, the guys start whistling at us, well at Bianca and I suppose me too since they'll hit on anything with breasts.

"Hey they're taken eyes to yourselves," Drew barks at them putting his arms around Bianca tightly. Adam puts his arms around me and the guys keep whistling and making comments until the Ice Hounds start coming out.

"You ready to go home?" Owen questions taking me into his arms from Adam's arms.

"Yeah," I nod taking his hand.

"Call me tomorrow, you can hang out or something or I can come over," Adam says.

"We'll call you after she goes down for the lineup," Owen tells him. We say goodnight to them and most of Owen's team before getting in his car to go home. "So you enjoy the game?" Owen questions as he begins to drive.

"Yeah it was exciting even if you didn't get to play and I saw Alli, Jenna, K.C. and Dave," I reply.

"Good, your friends missed you, we all did," Owen remarks taking my hand and kissing the back of it.

Owen parks at home and we go in, there's one light on in the living room for us. It's fairly early but Tris is sleeping at Maya's and Owen's parents are in another part of the house. They're trying not to overwhelm me and crowd me so I know they're home but they won't bother us until tomorrow. Owen and I go to our room, well it's his room but I've moved in.

Last night was my first night with Owen in eight months and I fell asleep still dressed and sobbing in his arms. Woke up exactly the same way after a nightmare, a nightmare I couldn't even remember but I woke up crying. Tonight I want Owen to hold me but I want to feel him, as soon as we're in his room I grab him and kiss him. I kiss him deeply with passion, with joy to be reunited, with bliss and a great yearning. Owen returns the kiss, deepening it and sweeping me into his arms, he sits on the bed with me in his lap and after several minutes we pull away to breathe.

"Hold me, I want my body next to yours all night long, with no clothes on. I want to feel your skin next to mine," I tell him it's half pleading and half a demand.

Owen doesn't say anything just kisses me again and takes off my jacket. The two of us are undressed within a few moments and holding each other tightly in bed. Owen holds me so tight it becomes hard to breathe and I tell him so.

"Sorry, I just keep thinking about everything you went through, what your mother did. I should have been there, I should have sa…"

"Owen you didn't know, she made sure of it, no one did. I made it out, I made it back to you and once we find our baby everything will be right again," I tell him before giving him a gentle kiss.

"You're right, I have you back I need to concentrate on that and I am. We'll find our baby, I don't care what it takes we'll find our baby," Owen assures me.

I don't cry tonight but I lie awake for a long time in Owen's arms, feeling his skin, his heartbeat, hearing his breaths and inhaling his scent. There were so many nights, so many moments I thought I'd never have this again and I'm lying awake just to enjoy it. I finally do fall asleep but wake up screaming after another nightmare, the only thing I remember from this one is my baby being ripped out of me and stolen away. The worst part is it's real, it all really happened and the nightmare is not a dark phantasm of fear but a dark memory.

I sit up screaming, panting and sobbing, Owen sits up too, wrapping me in his arms and kissing my neck. He whispers that he loves me and he has me, he tells me I'm safe now. I know I am but I still continue to sob for a long time. Eventually I'm physically unable to cry anymore and Owen tips my chin up to give me a loving kiss.

"They'll stop eventually and we'll be able to sleep all the way through the night again," I comment with an apologetic smile.

"No we won't because we'll have a baby but I don't care if I ever sleep again because I have you back," Owen replies and kisses me again. "It's almost nine, let's get dressed and go to the station, we're supposed to be there at 9:30 anyway. I'll take you to breakfast after," he says.

I nod, we get out of bed and get dressed, Owen's mom comes with us to the police station since they have emergency guardianship of me.

"Hi Clare, come with me please," Detective Dixon tells us when we walk into the police station. "Just tell us if you see the man that helping your mother, they can't see you," the detective informs me after taking me into a small dark room with a two-way mirror.

Blinds are opened and I look out to another room where six men are in a line, they all look pretty much the same, all are between six feet and six foot two with similar features and hair. I will never forget the face of the man that helped Mom, they were the only two faces I saw for months.

"Number five that's him, he's the doctor," I say without hesitation. Just seeing him again brings it all back, I can feel the chain at my neck, my wrists, feel my muscles getting week and the feel of the mattress I had to lay on for weeks without end. I turn into Owen and begin to cry, Owen holds me close rubbing my back softly, telling me he loves me and reminding me I'm safe.

"Bernard Pearl, a former physician until he got his medical license revoked for malpractice," Detective Dixon informs me. The fact that he's not even a practicing physician makes the whole thing worse. I knew it wasn't likely that he was an obstetrician but I thought at least he would have been a practicing doctor! Detective Dixon says something into a phone I can't really hear with my face buried in Owen's chest. The she says something to Owen and his mom and then Owen is telling me it's time to go.

"What happened are they arresting him?" I question.

"Yes they did it as soon as you identified him, he's the same man your mother named. You just need to sign a statement saying that you picked him out of the lineup and then you can go," Mrs. Milligan tells me.

I nod and Detective Dixon brings over a statement that I sign, we take Owen's mom home and stop at café for breakfast.

"You did great I'm proud of you," Owen tells me as we're eating.

"Seeing him again I felt like I was back in that room, chained to the bed even though I knew your arms were around me."

"You're safe Clare they'll never touch again," Owen assures me taking my hand across the table.

"I know and after their trials I hope I never have to see them again," I comment.

"You want to go to Adam's after this? We don't have to do anything but hang out," Owen says.

"Yeah hanging out like a normal teenager again sounds amazing," I grin.

**(OWEN)**

"I'll be with you the whole time, I can't hold you on the stand but I'll be holding you the rest of the time," I assert to Clare as we drive to her Mom's trial with my parents.

She's been home and with me for three months now, and for the most part she's readjusted to life. The nightmares have nearly stopped but she still has an occasional one and I always hold her. We spend valentines together; we even made love again slowly and gently. For her birthday we had a small party at my house, during March break we flew to Alabama when the P.I. though he had a lead on our child, it wasn't ours though and Clare came back heart broken. We haven't given up, we're still looking and the private investigator is still on the case, without any paper trail of who bought the baby or where the doctor sold it to it isn't easy. The couple paid in cash, everything was done without names and if the doctor had any paperwork the cops couldn't find it and he wasn't talking. He wanted to bargain giving us any info he had for immunity but we didn't know what he had, we had no way to keep him from lying and Clare wanted him to pay.

The hack former doctor that helped her mom plead guilty and was sentenced to fifty years. I was relieved that he plead guilty because it meant Clare didn't have to face him trial. Our private investigator had new leads and was keeping us up to date, we hoped every day to be holding our baby in our arms. Sometimes I'd find Clare crying about it, sobbing with heart break over our missing baby and all I could do is hold her. Today was her mom's trial and I was hoping it would give her some kind of closure or at the very least a sense of satisfaction and justice with her mom being sent to jail.

"I know I don't want to see her again or face her but I want her to go to jail. Actually I want her to be chained for her bed for eight months, forced to wear diapers and being constantly drugged until she has her child torn out of her and taken away without ever seeing it. I want that but I can't have that so jail will have to suffice," Clare says and her voice waivers between anger and deep sadness.

"Well if she somehow is found not guilty we can always hire a hit man," I joke although I am somewhat serious and feel Clare laugh just a little.

We pull up to the courthouse and I kiss Clare before we get out of the car. Clare grasps my hand as we walk to the steps; Audra and Omar are waiting inside with Adam. Audra and Omar are really here for support but are character witnesses as well. Adam will be a witness since he's her best friend and he's the only one that was searching for Clare while she was missing. Adam hugs Clare and then Audra does the same; my parents begin talking with Adam's parents. Other people would be here except that it's a school day but we'll see them after.

We go into the courtroom and Clare's mom is brought in wearing handcuffs, escorted by a bailiff but she was allowed to wear clothes instead of the jumpsuit. As soon as she sees her mom Clare grips onto me, I'm sitting with her at the plantiffs table because Helen stole our baby and kept Clare from me. I put my arm around her and she takes my hand. Her mom looks over and glares at us but her lawyer warns her not to talk us.

First the lawyers make their opening arguments, Helen's lawyer has a pretty weak one, she says that Clare was mentally incompetent and everything she says is a lie and what Helen did was right. Okay so it was worded better and sounded a lot more complicated but that was the gist of it. Our lawyer gives an overview of what Clare was put through, how Helen lied kept us apart and stole out baby. Then they start calling witnesses, Helen does not take the stand but Clare does. She gets very emotional and I see the jury become horrified and sad even cry. I take the stand too and tell my side, crying when I talk about my regret for believing Helen's lie about Clare going to Africa. Getting angry when I tell them how Clare came back into my life and finding out I had a baby somewhere out there that I don't even know about.

The first day ends and we're emotionally drained and exhausted, in fact Clare and I get home and sleep. The trial lasts four days and it's hard every day, watching Clare have to live through it all again through testimony and evidence, having to watch her mother every day is the worst part for me. The jury is currently deliberating and we've been sent home until they come back.

"I'll make some lunch," Mom says turning her cell phone on again since they have to be off in the courtroom. "Oh the private investigator called," Mom comments putting her phone to her ear to listen to the message and then looks at me. "He thinks he found your child, the age is right, the couple has no paperwork and they were denied adoption. He found evidence that they traveled to Toronto the day after Christmas alone and left the next morning with an infant," Mom tells is and Clare takes my hand.

"Is he getting another DNA test? We can give more blood," Clare comments excitedly.

"They already have your DNA on file, Owen's too, the investigator is trying to obtain a court order to get the baby's DNA tested. If he can't he'll obtain the DNA by other means. We won't know for a couple of days at least so just have faith and keep hope alive, we should concentrate on the trial right now," Mom advises.

"Your mother's right let's get through one thing at a time," Dad nods as his cell phone rings and Mom starts getting stuff out for sandwiches. "Put it away Honey the jury is back," Dad tells her hanging up.

"Already? It's been less than an hour that's either very good or very bad. Well let's get back to the courthouse," Mom replies putting the food away.

We drive back to the courthouse and go into the courtroom. We sit down for the last time and watch her mother be brought in for the last time and the jury file in for the last time. The judge comes in and goes through the formalities before the jury reads the verdict.

"We the jury find the defendant guilty on all counts and recommend the maximum sentence," the jury foreman reads.

Clare starts sobbing happy tears and grips onto me with relief, I smile and kiss her head but we still have to wait for the judges sentencing. He calls everyone to order and the courtroom quiets down. The judge sentences Helen to the maximum for each count, a total of eighty two years and Clare sobs happily again. Helen is led away and there is a very long time of celebration in the courtroom. After cheering in the courtroom we go home and I take Clare to DeGrassi which is just letting out and we tell everyone the good news. We celebrate all night, with our friends and then just the two of us. With Helen and that hack doctor in jail Clare is happier, lighter and a great weight lifted from her shoulders. Now all we need is our child.

The weekend goes by quickly, Clare and I spend every moment together celebrating and happy. Clare is finally able to truly enjoy time with her friends and with me and after three months finally settles into living at my house, our house. We think about our child every moment of it, wishing we could hold our child and constantly calling the P.I. for updates. Sunday night we hear that he finally obtained DNA and is sending it for testing. All day Monday we wait to hear but every time we call the private investigator he says he's waiting on the results.

"Hey any news?" Adam questions when we get to school Tuesday morning.

"Not yet the investigator is still saying he's waiting for the results," I reply.

"I'm sure you'll hear soon," Drew says encouragingly.

"Yeah I hope so," I reply.

I hardly pay attention in classes, waiting anxiously for news from the private investigator. At lunch we go out to the courtyard with Adam, Drew, Bianca, Dallas and the Baker sibs. Tris and his friends are eating out here too, most people are since it's starting to warm with spring. We're about to sit down when I see Mom's car and the investigator in the passenger seat. Clare sees it too; we drop our stuff and run over as Mom stops the car.

"You're back is there news?" I question opening up the car door.

"Owen," Clare whispers tugging at my arm and points to the back seat where an infant is sleeping in a car seat.

"Is that…it's our baby!"

"Owen, Clare meet your son," Mom smiles taking him from his car seat and handing him to Clare.

Clare breaks into happy tears, holding our child close to her heart. I wrap them both in my arms, looking down at my son as my heart swells with pride.

"He's gorgeous, no he's perfect! So incredibly perfect," I grin stroking his cheek and it feels so soft.

"He was being called James but it's up to you to name him," the investigator says.

"You decide Clare, what should we call him? What should we name our son?"

She thinks about it, still happily crying as she gazes at our son. Our friends and Tris and his friends begin to gather around us to look at our amazing son.

"Gabriel, Gabriel Owen Milligan," she says finally.

"So we're naming him after me and my dad?" I question.

"Well we're not naming him after anyone in my family," she responds laughing slightly as she kisses Gabriel's forehead.

"It's perfect," I grin taking my son from Clare and holding him to my chest.

He opens his eyes, my son opens his eyes and looks right at me, his eyes locking on mine and I fall in love. Smiling bigger than I ever have in my life, I put my arm around Clare kissing her lips and then our son's forehead. My life is right now, my life is complete in a way I never thought possible and I'm happier than anyone else could possibly be on this earth.

"Let me hold my nephew," Tris insists reaching for him.

I give Gabriel to Tris and take Clare's hands in mine, "There is only one way I could be happier in this moment marry me Clare."

"Yes of course," she smiles and everyone claps and cheers.

I kiss my future wife taking her in my arms but the cheering wakes up Gabriel. He starts crying and Tris hands him back to Clare, she holds him and I hold them both. Mom snaps a picture just as I kiss Clare again, more in love than ever before and anxious to start the rest of our lives together.


End file.
